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On occasion, Jay Spring feels he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. Living with narcissistic personality disorder, his grandiose moments often turn “really delusional”, he states. “You are on cloud nine and you’re like, ‘The world will recognize that I stand above others … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

For Spring, these times of heightened ego are often coming after a “sudden low”, during which he feels overwhelmed and embarrassed about his conduct, leaving him highly sensitive to negative feedback from those around him. He first suspected he might have NPD after looking up his traits on the internet – and eventually evaluated by a clinician. But, he doubts he would have taken the label if he hadn’t previously arrived at that understanding on his own. When someone suggests to somebody that they have NPD, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – particularly if they experience a sense of being better. They inhabit a fantasy reality that they made for themselves. And in that mindset, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Understanding The Condition

Though people have been labelled as narcissists for over 100 years, the meaning can be ambiguous what is meant by the label. “Everyone calls everybody a narcissist,” says a leading researcher, adding the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he notes many people hide it, because of so much stigma around the condition. A narcissist will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “impaired compassion”, and “a pattern of manipulating others to seek admiration through things like displaying material goods,” the specialist says. Those with NPD may be “highly self-focused”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so I didn’t invest in relationships seriously

Sex-Based Distinctions in The Disorder

Though a significant majority of people identified as having narcissistic personality disorder are men, findings points out this statistic does not mean there are fewer narcissistic women, but that narcissism in women is typically appears in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is less commonly diagnosed. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be a bit more accepted, as with everything in society,” says an individual who shares content on her dual diagnosis on digital platforms. It’s fairly common, the two disorders are comorbid.

Individual Challenges

“I really struggle with dealing with feedback and not being accepted,” she shares, “because if I hear that the issue lies with me, I often enter defence mode or I become unresponsive.” Although experiencing this behavior – which is often called “narcissistic injury”, she has been working to manage it and listen to guidance from her support system, as she strives not to return into the damaging patterns of her previous life. I used to be manipulative to my partners during adolescence,” she reveals. With professional help, she has been able to manage her condition better, and she says she and her significant other “have a dynamic where I’ve instructed him, ‘If I say something messed up, if my words are controlling, call it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up mostly in the care of her father and says she lacked healthy examples during development. It’s been a process of understanding over the years the difference between acceptable versus unacceptable to say when arguing because I lacked that guidance as a kid,” she says. “Nothing was off-limits when my family members were belittling me during my childhood.”

Origins of Narcissistic Traits

Personality disorders tend to be connected with childhood challenges. “There is a genetic component,” explains a mental health specialist. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “connected with that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to manage during childhood”, he adds, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was dependent on meeting certain expectations. They then “persist in applying those familiar tactics as adults”.

Similar to other of the NPD-diagnosed people, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The adult says when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, stay out of our way.” When their they engaged with him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve high marks and professional advancement, he says, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “worthy.

As he grew older, none of his relationships lasted. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he states. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of forming deep connections, until he met his long-term relationship of three years, who is diagnosed with BPD, so, like him, has difficulty with feelings. She is “really understanding of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he notes – it was in fact, her who originally considered he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

Subsequent to a consultation to his GP, he was directed to a therapist for an evaluation and was informed of his condition. He has been referred for psychological counseling via government-funded care (extended treatment is the primary approach that has been demonstrated to benefit NPD patients, clinicians explain), but has been on the patient queue for an extended period: It was indicated it is expected around in a few months.”

He has shared with a handful of people about his mental health status, because “there’s a big stigma that all narcissists are abusers”, but, in his own mind, he has come to terms with it. The awareness assists me to comprehend my actions, which is beneficial,” he comments. Those interviewed have accepted their narcissism and are pursuing treatment for it – hence being willing to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the condition. But the growth of online advocates and the development of virtual networks suggest that {more narcissists|a growing number